Being Peter

Odd to find a shadow of myself inside the covers of a book – Madeline Moore’s ‘Sarah’s Education’.  One part features a guy who pays for women – which I can’t afford to do – and doesn’t fuck them.  Instead he plays them, like an instrument, celebrates them, makes love to them without ever penetrating them.

I can’t afford the girls, or the mink, and it is not that I don’t enjoy penetrative sex, but what seems to link us is a love of the female, a desire to worship rather than to possess.

To me it’s a beautiful idea and I guess it’s not so very far from what I try to do when I write.  I don’t invade – if I’m welcomed into her mindspace it is of her free will, and I seek to pleasure her as intimately as I can, as profoundly as I can, without ever looking for anything in return.

No notches on my bed-post, only a heart that feels we have somehow lost our way, that intimacy, care, loving touch should not be as tightly circumscribed as we have made it.

Others’ thoughts would be valued.



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